(Editor - Testimonial was phoned in)
How I Got a Free Lunch and a Date
Near my house in Dallas is a Coffee Shop owned
by a crazy woman named Stella. She's married, has big hoo hah's
and likes to show off photos of her Nudist camp vacations.
I wanted a date with Carmine the cute new waitress. So
I told all the waitresses to Watch me out the window. Cut
a big sheaf of flowers. Stuck them in a plastic vase.
Everyone was laughing as I told the owner, "I bought these flowers
Just for you!" Grabbed her hand. Reached inside and
she pulled a pair of edible panties out of the Bouquet.
Then I marched outside. Cut a 2nd armful of Stella's flowers. Came
in and gave them to MY Waitress Carmine. Inside her
Bouquet was a Gift Certificate for a Free Spa Treatment. And
a dinner invite from me.
I got a date with Carmine. And a Free Lunch. Not sure if Stella
or Carmine paid.